Need a Lawyer? :-)

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In a “Dear Abby” column, by Abigail Van Buren wrote, ” Dear readers: And you thought there was nothing funny about the law. David Broome of Phoenix sent me something that may change your mind. These are questions (taken from official U.S. court records) lawyers have put to people on the stand:”

 

Question: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

~~~~~

Q: Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?

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Q: What happened then?

A: He told me, he says, “I have to kill you because you can identify me.”

Q: Did he kill you?

~~~~~

Q: Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

~~~~~

Q: The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?

~~~~~

Q: Were you alone or by yourself?

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Q: How long have you been a French Canadian?

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Q: Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

~~~~~

Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.

A: That’s me.

Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

~~~~~

Q: Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

~~~~~

Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?

A: I’ll be three months on Nov. 8.

Q: Apparently, then the date of conception was Aug. 8?

A: Yes.

Q: What were you doing at that time?

~~~~~

Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?

A: I used to be.

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

~~~~~

Q: So you were gone until you returned?

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Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there girls?

~~~~~

Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?

A: Not yet.

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Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel?

A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?

 

Submitted by Marsha- Angels by Grace – Dec. 1996

 

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Blessings to you.

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10 thoughts on “Need a Lawyer? :-)

  1. Thanks for the chuckle! 🙂

  2. I was laughing at the questions. They are unbelievably funny! hahaha
    Can I please share them?
    Rolain

  3. Just lovely!! lol!!

  4. What fun! And our oldest daughter just took the bar exam! :). Thank you!

  5. This was great I especially liked the French Canadian one! Lol I look forward to reading more! God bless you my new friend!

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