My Epic Quest for Toilet Paper

Mitch Teemley

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Due to the growing pandemic, most public gatherings in our area are cancelled. The public is making a run on local markets in preparation to stay at home. Toilet paper was the first thing to go! It all feels kind of primitive. Here’s my personal report:

Great sick-storm building. Tribe Healer say much cave and hut dweller maybe-sick. Big Spirit angry? (Probably Zug and his stupid boasting.) So we stay away from other maybe-sick tribe people. We stay in cave where nice and cozy. We make shadow pictures on wall, laugh much, pop roasted grubs on fire–my favorite!

But Neema complain she have no meadow grass for to wipe bottom-place-that-follow-her-wherever-she-go. She very clean. Much trouble. But look and smell better than me.

So I put on mammoth fur and go to Great Meadow where is much food and herb. It crazy there! I never see so many tribe…

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