We Were Not Alone
Her nerves are stretched to where she feels she can stand this no more. She slams on the brakes of the car in the parking lot and sits staring at nothing as the motor idles. Her mind seems to have gone on hold. No thoughts, no feelings, no nothing. It’s been too much.
Finally, shaking her head as though to awaken from a deep sleep, she turns the ignition off, and takes a long agonizingly deep breath and steps out of the car.
Walking into the building she walks to the elevator and rises to the third floor. Slowly she opens a door and enters into a plush waiting room with a fake palm tree in one corner, enticing comfortable chairs, and carpet so thick she feels she could curl up on it like a cozy warm bed.
She signs the sheet on the clip board and takes a seat. Glancing at the stack of magazines she ignores a Man sitting across the room. Then her name is called.
For thirty minutes she sits with her hands folded tightly in her lap and tells her counselor about a horrifying memory of her childhood. Tears stream, she wants to scream but takes a deep breath and fights to maintain control.
He’s sympathetic and asks several questions. She replies as best she can. One question arises that throws her into a tizzy. “Where was Jesus when this happened?”
She bolts out of the chair and paces.
The Doctor waits.
Unbeknownst to her the Man has entered the room.
She stomps across the room and with fists tightly clenched at her sides, she stares out the window at the parking lot below. Tears stream down her face. She fights to subdue her anger.
“Where was Jesus?” the Doctor asks again and she spins around facing him. “I don’t know!” she almost screams.
She runs her hands through her hair in a frantic, hopeless and frustrated gesture, and plops down on the couch. She closes her eyes trying to fight the flood of tears that want to rush down her cheeks, and before the Doctor can say anything a vision appears before her.
The vision is so clear of Jesus on His knees with tears streaming down His face and begging His Father to stop what is happening to this child. His pain is so evident and His agony is even greater than the child’s that He’s praying for, her!
On the couch she is shaking violently and sobbing. Now she knows the answer.
Luke 22:42 – “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”
Even Jesus asked His Father to not let this happen, and yet He suffered greatly, even unto death. Children do not have the physical or emotional ability to stop abuse that is being inflicted upon them; be it emotional, physical, or sexual. They cry out in many instances to deaf ears and blind eyes begging for it to stop. The hurt goes so deep it becomes anger and many times that anger is directed straight at God. “Why didn’t You stop it!?” “He did nothing!” is how many deal with those issues. As in the story above, the great I Am was there. He can’t reach down and stop the torment being inflicted, but He is praying fervently for the child. He knows our suffering. He knows our tears, His heart is being ripped out at seeing what we are going through, then and now. He is with us through it all. We can blame God, or we can reach out to Him to help us overcome all that was done. If the suffering is continuing through your thoughts and memories, reach out to Christ. Invite Him into your suffering. He’s waiting to take you in His arms and heal your heart.
Fred has had a rough life. His childhood was filled with hurt, pain, disappointment, betrayal, and abuse. Mom and Dad didn’t know the Lord and made fun of those “high and mighty do-gooders.”
As the years came and gone he was bullied in school, made lower grades than the other kids, and wore out-of-style clothing. He hid his hurt and anger but never understood why life was just so hard. “Life’s not fair,” others would tell him but it didn’t ease his anger.
As an adult his anger has turned to bitterness. He growls at people in response to their attempts to show him kindness. He pushes others away in his self-imposed prison. The lesson of “trust no-one” runs hot through his veins.
Sitting on a bus bench, waiting for the bus to carry him to his menial job, the pain hits him like a train. He falls off the bench in a crumpled ball groaning and screaming.
In the ambulance he is in and out of consciousness and the scream of the siren sounds far away. He isn’t aware when the gurney speedily rolls him down the halls of the hospital into the operating room.
Slowly his eyes begin to flutter open and he see’s a Man with a white coat, a stethoscope around His neck standing next to his bed. With confusion, blurred vision, and a mouth feeling like cotton, he asks, “Who are you?”
The Man looks at him and replies, “I am the I Am. You’ve just had surgery.”
“Surgery!” He growls. “Surgery for what? What did you do to me?”
Lowering the surgical mask from His face, the Man replies seriously, “You had a huge tree inside you. The roots ran deep. I removed it.”
“What!? What do you mean a tree and roots!?” Fred demands. He tries to sit up in the bed but can’t.
“You have had much hurt and disappointment. You have let your past take control of your life and it became a giant tree of hatred and anger with very deep bitter roots. You forgave no one but now you are free to do so.”
The Man turns and leaves the room leaving Fred shedding tears of understanding and relief.
(Sue’s version) Hebrews 12:15
I hardly know where to begin on this “rainy day in Georgia” to explain a moment of enlightenment straight from the Throne Room of Heaven.
While watching the last few minutes of a Hallmark Christmas movie on the TV, my little dog, Sassy, insisted on joining me for a scratch and a warm place on my lap to curl up and sleep. We enjoyed her request and my mind started remembering a statement given to me recently about this little dog. “The bonding between you and that little dog is remarkable.”
Why was this comment profound in my mind? You see, Sassy, is a little 8 ½ pound rescue dog. No personal knowledge on our part of her life prior to her coming to be part of our family, but the results of that life was evident to all that came in contact with her. She was a Survivor!! She was skin and bones. Had been given a good grooming and we were told she was matted to the skin, full of oil and grease. She had a fondness for parked cars and hiding beneath them. She snarled, and broke out in defense mode whenever there was any indication on her part she was about to be hurt. Fearful of everything around her and she sharpened her teeth quite often on human flesh. No one would have her, except us. Several had tried, which is why she was groomed, but they ran out of time, and patience and she was discarded and the days were being counted off for her removal from this earth. She was headed back to a shelter that would keep her only a short time. She was very much in the snarl and bite mode, who would want her?
It took 3 years and today she is curled up in my lap, sleeping. That statement about our bonding started rolling around in my head and a question came to mind. How, if said to me again, would I answer it today? The one asking the question had observed our little bundle of fun in the beginning days and was making a today observation.
A today observation, hmmm, “Father how would I respond?” My communication door had been opened and Father started speaking to me in that wonderful, calming, soft voice that I have grown to love. “She, my child, is not unlike you humans. You are all so loved by Me and yet such a daily challenge. Just like she was hiding under cars, man hides behind many things not as obvious as her hiding places but hides just the same. And the hiding places are a result of fear. What, this day, are you fearing? How are you any different than our little friend nestled in your lap?”
I thought about that question and He discussed my thoughts with me. I agreed with the change in her and then was asked another question. “What are you running from and where are you wanting to get to?” Another question only He can ask and one I will listen to. I don’t often ask that question of myself as I scurry from one needed project to another and try to care for those around me. Little dog Sassy showed signs of doing a great deal of running. She was very hungry, lost and not sure of a destination but running hard to find something different and hopefully better than where she was. Initially she was watched to great lengths as we did not want to have her try to escape the home we were trying to provide because we had learned that she not only was needing shelter and love, food for her worn out body and soul, but she was also very sick.
Three days after she came to us, she started having serious Epileptic seizures and they were serious beyond anything we had ever seen. A week in the doggie hospital resulted with a discharge of “Maybe.” Doc, at the time, did not hold out much hope for her survival let alone her having years to function and be happy. At this point all seemed so against her. Personal tears flowed for something so small and innocent and so terribly abused by humans that were created to care for the animals. Love, care, sharing and happy days had been taken from her and all she knew was pain, hurt, great grief and unbelievable fear.
Discussion continued between Father and me and answers on my part started coming forth. Like all of us, there are pockets of lacking emotions in all of our lives that may have once been there and tragic moments in life either destroyed or were never recognized. Sometimes those hurts and lacking have a way of truly destroying today and tomorrow. But, an example of something He was trying to tell me was curled up in my lap!!
I found myself being more and more quiet and more and more in the listening mode. “Father, there is a message here in our discussion and I have a strong belief this is a message of importance, at least to me.”
His response back to me was slow coming and I determined that was preparation for my giving Him my full attention. I waited and I listened. He then spoke, “Child, what has happened between the then and now of this little dogs life? Name steps along the way where you remember change in her and what was taking place to cause that change.”
Out came the Kleenex once again and I was beginning to see where I thought He was going with our conversation and I could not believe before my opening eyes what He was teaching me and the door He was opening before me. His timing is so “on time” and I so want to sharpen my awareness edge in my life to not miss His timing. Here I sat, in my own home, quiet and safe from the changing season outside and a cold rain to receiving a message straight out of the Throne Room of Heaven.
I chattered like a small child excited about a new direction and that child having a small piece of insight heads out with strong emotion and a lot of “I see, I see, Lord”. Well, like that little child I quote, in His world “I see” little!
However, His grace gave me the freedom to tell Him what I was seeing and where He wanted me to go. Of course I was pretty much wrong, but that was OK with Him because He was going to straighten my thinking out. No time to waste with my personal insights I so easily grabbed and started telling Him about, with much wisdom and assurance, of myself. As I said above, I was pretty much not as far on board as I thought.
He showed me patience and love. Kind of like that Fatherly pat on the head.
Then we got down to the message for the day. “Child, I too care, watch over, and love. I love way beyond anything you can even imagine. You have heard a statement for many years about being able to know My love for humankind and most particularly how much more love there is to tap when you are one of Mine. Now, True love requires abandonment. True love requires trust, True love requires commitment. True love wants to be with one another. True love wants to share. Examples of True Love are many but are you starting to realize just a little what I am speaking to you about?”
“Yes, Lord, I do.” “Sorry, child, not sure you do. I have not given you a beginning list of things necessary for you to have a relationship with Me. Understand this!! I am telling you the opposite. These are some of the ways I LOVE YOU. All that is necessary from you is acceptance. Your little dog asleep on your lap has now accepted the love provided to her in her home. Accept, child, that no matter where you are, no matter what you are confronted with, no matter what happens in this fallen world, you cannot get away from My love for you any more than that little dog can. She is healing from her days of abuse. She is being cared for and all she knows is she feels better and that the old days and her ugly past are not here today. Your love for her is solid. So is Mine! She is accepting more and more each day the love provided to her in the home she lives in. You and your husband show her what her life can really be while with you and I show what your life can be for Eternity with Me. How is there any difference between relationship with that little dog and relationship with Me? It all starts with Love and it all ends with Love. There is no measure of dialed in acceptance of love and you are done. No way to see that you measure up. No way to cause you envy when you see others further down the path than you are. All this Love thing needs to super charge your life is acceptance!!! The defiled world about you can cause ugliness. I can give the very self-same world beauty and hope. Sassy just accepts!”
It takes a bit of time to get over a gut wrenching. I went back to the statement given to me by an observer. “The bonding between you and that little dog is remarkable.” Is bonding with the Almighty beyond your understanding? Is it a foreign language to you? Are the horrible cares of this world tearing at you and you find yourself wanting to scream, “God, where are You?” Are you wanting to find a parked car of your own to hide under? Are you so like me filled with “yes, but”? And, oh, so many more mountains of questions. How would I answer my question today. I would gently scratch behind the ears of the little one asleep on my lap and smile and say, “She just learned to accept.”
We seem to have a need to depart from this plain called earth. We continually pray for death, yet when we truly think He will take us, a fear courses through our veins.
Be careful what you pray for! For your words grow weary upon the ears of our Master.
Death – oh how we cherish the pain. The thought of how no suffering, no tears, no heartache. But, instead of looking for release from a world filled with sin and evil, why not try to change it.
Instead of relishing a freedom from it, which is not always the answer, change the one you live in.
Instead of passing away and leaving pain behind, why not remove pain where able and it will not be so painful for others who are left behind upon your departure.
Your pain was handed to you from those who knew pain also. And so the story goes.
No one seems to want to stop the pain, just leave it! Leave it for others to deal with, suffer through, and want the same as you – leave it.
Today is Mother’s Day and I have avoided turning on the T.V., going to church, and those things that remind me of what a mother is supposed to be but that many of us did not experience.
Growing up in an abusive home where the abuse is ignored or perpetrated by the mother does not leave happy memories for many of us. Whether it was the Dad doing the abuse or the mother inflicting the physical or emotional pain, it leaves more than just a bad taste in the mouth of the surviving child/adult.
We hear from the pulpits across America the testimonies of those mother’s that raised their children in loving and caring homes. I’m happy for those children that have those memories. They are truly blessed more than they probably realize.
But what about the others? Those of us that hear the wonderful testimonies and sit quietly trying to hide the tears and shut out the memories of abuse, betrayal, and mother’s that chose to be far less than what God wanted her to be. Every child loves their mother whether they admit it or not. That’s why the pain is so deep.
Many people do not want to hear the testimonies of hurt, pain, and betrayal within a family, especially within a church. “This isn’t the place for that” is what I’ve heard after giving a testimony of an abusive childhood. Even though those testimonies reveal the healing power of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. “It’s just too awful to hear.” So the pulpits are sadly quiet about what reality is to many and how the Lord has healed the hearts of many.
Many of us that have experienced the healing power of Christ do forgive, as difficult as it is. And many times we have to forgive over and over and especially on days like today; Mother’s Day.
In my case, my mother is with the Lord. Praise God because she accepted Christ as her Savior in her late 80’s so I know she is with Him.
But what about those who still have their mother’s? Those who, out of a sense of obligation and a bad taste in their mouth, send the flowers and cards? Honoring your mother and father, as Christ commands, causes some to feel that dreaded obligation but what it means is that you are acknowledging their authority, their position, as your parent.
Forgiveness is a powerful thing. It does not say what they did was right. It does not say we have to have contact with them or a relationship with them. It says we release the hurt, the anger, the guilt, the shame, and the unforgiveness. For our benefit not theirs. Our Father in heaven forgives us as we forgive others. If we won’t forgive then He will not bless us with His forgiveness.
I pray that we may hand our hurt to the Lord and celebrate that there are mother’s who exemplify the Father’s love of His children and set aside the hurtful memories. Forgiveness does not render amnesia.
Blessings to you.
A biological man, Christopher Hambrook, claimed to be ‘transgender’ in order to prey on women at two Toronto shelters. He was recently jailed “indefinitely” after a judge declared him to be a “dangerous offender.”
The Toronto Sun reports that Hambrook, a man, who called himself “Jessica,” entered women’s shelters and sexually assaulted several women in 2012. He served four years in jail in Montreal for a 2002 sexual assault of a five-year-old girl, and for raping a mentally challenged 27-year-old woman while on bail for the first crime.
This is exactly what gender rational people have been arguing: allowing men into women’s bathrooms poses dangers to women and girls. It’s irrational, irresponsible, and gives predators free access to prey on the innocent.
This is the consequence of allowing transgender, perverted, predatory heterosexual pedophiles access to be around women and girls:
- Court documents reveal that one woman awoke to find Hambrook assaulting her on her bed.
“Her tights had been pulled down past her bottom and her bathing suit had been pulled to the side. She yelled at the accused, demanding to know what he was doing. He simply covered his face with his hands, said ‘Oops!’ and started giggling.”
- Evidence was also presented of Hambrook terrorizing a deaf woman living in the shelter. “The accused grabbed the complainant’s hand and forcibly placed it on his crotch area while his penis was erect.” She also reported that Hambrook peered through a gap between the door and its frame to watch her while she showered.
The Toronto Sun reports that Hambrook was a former stripper and escort. The Ontario, Canadian government, recently amended its Human Rights Code to include “gender identity” and “gender expression” as grounds for discrimination in 2012.
The bill’s sponsors said the law enable “social change” in Canada. Yet, is allowing sexual assault the social change Canada was seeking?
Canada Family Action president, Brian Rushfeldt, told LifeSiteNews that Hambrook’s method to enter women’s shelters proves that the “gender identity legislation is inherently flawed.” He added,
“The Ontario law is dangerous. It is unacceptable that any country would allow a law which puts citizens at risk. It proves the law was ill planned and executed, and the government should be held legally responsible for these crimes.”
Jack Fonseca, of Campaign Life Coalition, told LifeSiteNews: it “didn’t take a brain surgeon to predict that letting men into women’s bathrooms and other private spaces would eventually lead to sexual assaults.
“I wish we didn’t have to say ‘I told you so,’ but Ontario’s party leaders and MPPs were warned that the transsexual ‘Bathroom Bill’ endangered women and needed to be defeated.”
Liberals were warned that this would happen, and it did.
What is the legislature trying to achieve?
Why is the first instance of a transgender pervert using a woman’s shelter and bathroom one that leads to sexual assault of women?
Does no one care about women’s safety anymore?
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