Wishing I was the wind

Remember back in 1956 the song “The Wayward Wind?” I loved that song! Okay, so some of you weren’t even born at that time and I’m aging myself. But that’s okay.

 

I remember sitting on the school bus, alone on the leather seat, looking out the window, and feeling totally alone. The words of the song would play through my mind and oh how I wished I could be that wind. How I wished I could just blow across the land and not have to encounter the abuse at home. As the wind, I could go wherever I wanted. I could be strong, so strong I could blow over houses or gently tilt a flower low to the ground. As the wind I would have the power to move mountains or ripple a stream.

I wasn’t living next to railroad tracts, as depicted in the song. I wasn’t grieving the loss of a lost lover. I was grieving a lost childhood. I was grieving the lack of love from a dysfunctional family. “Raise a child in the ways it is to go” wasn’t even thought about. I was being taught all the wrong things about who I was and who I would be. I was taught guilt, shame, anger, frustration, and filled with emptiness. I was taught what I was worth – nothing!

Sadly many people’s perception of their self worth derives from many different circumstances, people, society, families, jobs, how many friends we have/don’t have, etc. For me, actions speak louder than words. Don’t tell me you love me while choking me or punching me. Someone’s actions can relay a message of worth. We all know “that look” from Mom, Dad, husband, or wife.

If we claim our worth by how much money we have/ don’t have, our position at work/ executive or janitor, our weight/ to fat or to skinny, race, beautiful or ugly, harsh words or negative actions, or status in life we are being deceived. Magazines and T.V. commercials all have a message that we’re not good enough.

I remember when I confronted my Dad about the years of abuse, I’ll never forget his words. “You were my tool.” I don’t think anything he could have ever said that could have hurt more. You see he was a diesel mechanic. He had hundreds of tools. All shapes, all sizes. All had a specific purpose. They were placed in a big bright red tool box, inanimate objects that he used and put aside until needed the next time. Their only value was deemed in what they could be used for.
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“You were my tool.” Little did I know that perceived self worth was established way back in the early years of my childhood. In my case it was, “Your good for only one thing.”

It was when I became a child of God that I learned God saw me worth more than a ten dollar screw driver or a fifteen dollar pair of pliers. He saw me as more than a vessel for sex or a punching bag. I was so valuable, “more than silver or gold,” that He adopted me as His daughter! His Son died on the cross that I might have life more abundant, forgiveness of my sins, and that I could spend eternity with Him.

My Dad saw me as a tool, to be used and thrown to the side until needed at another time. God saw me as a precious child who needed a Father. imagesCA7OM3L4

I was received and valued by Christ “…with the precious blood of Christ as a lamb without blemish and without spot.” 1Peter 1:19

Our worth does not come from others, positions, status, or world worth. Our worth is based upon what God created. If He didn’t think we were worth creating He would not have created us! He would not have come to earth as a man, Jesus, to save us from an eternity in hell. He would not seek us out as a lost sheep and carry us back into the fold to love and protect us.

If you had been the only human being on the face of the earth He still would have gone to the cross for you. That’s how valuable you are to Him!

Don’t sell yourself short of how valuable you are. Your alcoholic mother, drug buddies, abusive father, parent that abandoned you did not determine your worth! God and God alone is the only one who determines our value. God see’s you valuable enough to die for you and adopt you as His child. “For you are all sons (daughters) of God through faith in Christ Jesus.” Gal. 3:26

~~~~~

“And because you are sons, (daughters) God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, “Abba, Father!” Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.” Gal. 4:6-7

 * note: I added (daughters) so no-one feels left out.

http://www.elahministries.com

Blessings to you.

 

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Heart wounds

imagesCA9DYNHO When my husband went to be with the Lord I felt the loss deeply. His laughter, his smile, his humor. The fun we had traveling, the pillow talks late at night. Sitting across from each other having our morning coffee and the love that shown in his eyes. Oh yeah, A big hole in my heart was left upon his passing.

Over the years I’ve thought about how people try to fill those holes left behind by any number of life’s circumstances. For some it’s alcohol, others drugs. What about promiscuity or numerous marriages?

I know of one woman who quickly adopted a child to replace the daughter she lost. It particular irks me when I have lost a beloved pet and am told, “You can get another one” like I just lost a tea cup and can run down to Walmart for another one. Or how about, “Your young, you can marry again?”

Losses are heart wounds regardless of the loss! It takes time to heal our heart.

Humans are fickle people to be sure. We often think that someone or something can replace what we have lost. Be it on a conscious or sub-conscious level. But can we replace what was lost? Can I replace a lost childhood due to abuse? Can I replace the rejection of a parent? Can I replace the love that I felt for a pet or a friend? No!

Regardless of who or what the loss we will have some memory of the loss; be it good, bad, or the ugly. The Lord Jesus knows our hearts. In Palm 147: 3 He says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” He doesn’t say He gives us amnesia.

We can’t fill the hole but we can find comfort. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4

If the hole is due to parental rejection the Lord our God says, “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.” Psalm 27:10

Instead of trying to fill  that empty place in our heart we can cherish the good, heal the broken, and count on our Lord and Savior to help us through, overcome, and move on in love.

~~~~~

“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2cor.12:9

http://www.elahministries.com

http://www.suecass.tateauthor.com

elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you. 🙂

 

Been there, Not going back!

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My fingers are cramped, my back hurts, my eyes burn, and my neck feels as though its frozen in place as I sit slumped over the legal pad and my pen skirts across the paper filling page after page as it writes the chapter about my visit to hell.

“Take a break, child.” The Lord whispers in my ear. “Go lay on the couch and rest for a while.” He gently adds. I lay my pen down and standing I flex my fingers, groan, and stretch my back muscles. Taking a deep breath I slowly walk to the couch and stretch out giving a long sigh of relief. The pen has been writing furiously and now I can take a time out.

My head has barely touched the pillow when suddenly everything turns to black. Black as no other black I’ve ever seen. My body has suddenly been transported from the comfort of my couch to a place that is so dark I can’t see my hand in front of my face. I’m scared. My body begins to shake and I sense Someone has stepped up behind me. Peace begins flowing through me like a gentle wave. No words are spoken.

The blackness is so black there’s nothing for my eyes to adjust to. It isn’t like walking into a dark room where some light peeks in and I can see at least a shadow. No this is so black it can’t be described! Suddenly faces begin to appear in the darkness. I suck in a breath as they come closer and closer to where I’m standing. Men and women, teen-age girls and boys, with expressions of fear, anger, shame, confusion, and hatred written in their eyes and across their faces as though in large dark ink. I take a step back. Somehow these people are not allowed to touch me but they have. They’ve touched something deep within me.

A woman, with her head thrown back, screams a bone chilling scream as she furiously twists her long hair and pulls frantically. She screams an agonizing scream, yet no sound comes from her mouth. A man leans toward me and pleads “help me,” yet no words are spoken. His face is a horrible mask of agony like nothing I have ever witnessed.

Face after face appear and pass before me with torture written on them, eyes filled with emptiness, screams of pain and desolation. A man appears and comes toward me with his face contorted with absolute hatred and his eyes meet mine with a putrid violence. I jump back bumping into the white robe behind me. “You’ll be okay, My child” is whispered in my ear as gentle arms wrap around me from behind. I feel His beard on my cheek and the comfort of His arms.

I turn my head to look at Him and ask, “Who are these people?” His eyes fill with tears. “Those who have rejected Me,” He replies with sadness. “But can’t You help them?” I ask. “No child. They chose this place. I gave them every opportunity but they chose this as their eternal home.” I want to scream! I want to beg Him to take them out of here! I want to run from this horrible place. The comforting arms drop from their hug and He takes a step back.

Suddenly the faces are gone and I’m standing as stiff as a telephone pole. Red hot flames have encircled me. Orange, red, yellow, flares up on all sides of me and only my head and eyes move as I look around me. Furious fire engulfs me, yet not one spark touches me.

The Man is beside me. “You’re safe” He says. The flames grow hotter, taller and I can’t believe I’m not even feeling the heat from them. “I am with you,” He says. The flames lick at me but don’t touch me, they grow hotter still and looking skyward I can see the flames are all around me and above me. There is no escape! “I am always with you, even in the fires of life,” is gently spoken.

Poof, the flames are gone!

I’m standing in the total blackness again. My mind is whirling. I have a million questions I want to ask but suddenly my attention is drawn to a white building appearing out of the pitch blackness. It’s a small country-type church. It begins turning. The whole building is slowly turning counter clockwise on its axis. It begins to turn faster and gradually it begins to spin faster and faster and faster until it spins off its axis and flies out into the darkness and disappears.

Suddenly I’m jolted from the darkness back onto my couch with the blare of the telephone ringing just inches from my ear. Confused and disoriented I reach for it. I can barely speak.

I have no idea how long I spent in hell but there’s one thing for sure, I’m not going back! The Lord gave us free will and we are to choose whom we shall serve. Christ or Satan – we can’t serve both. I’ve made my choice as to where, and with whom, I will spend eternity, have you?

~~~~~

“And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you shall serve.” Joshua 24:14

Author Sue Cass- “Dawn’s Light” – “Pursuit” – “Laying Down my Net-A Walk of Faith” – “Sacrifices of a Saint” – “Seek My Face.”

http://www.elahministries.com

http://www.suecass.tateauthor.com

elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you. 🙂

Relax & enjoy-it’s done.

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Gazing down at the cover of my new novel I can’t help but smile and think about the long hours, the loss of sleep, and how consuming writing can be. I feel the satisfaction of having the completed book here in my hands.

I recall the excitement I felt when it was completed, accepted by the publisher, and finally released. It’s kind of weird, when I sit down with the finished product in my hands, and begin reading what the pen has written. It’s as though it’s the first time I’ve read it. It’s different from reading the stack of typed pages, the manuscript. I’m not looking for type-o’s or how this or that needs to be stated differently. I pretend I just brought it home off the book store shelf. I just want to read the story.

Leaning back in the chair and taking in the story it’s as though someone else wrote it and I’m enjoying another’s work. The characters, setting, and plot unfolds leaving me laughing or gasping and wondering what is going to happen next. I feel as though I’m a part of the story, drawn in leaving the world outside my door.

I can’t put it down and finally as I complete the last page and gently close the cover I sit in wonder. Did I really write that? I’m awestruck because I know I didn’t write it alone. Setting the book aside I give all praise, honor, and glory to my Lord and Savior for He is the One who controls my pen.

 

~~~~~

After Carla’s husband was killed in Iraq, Carla moves to Ivy, a small Georgia beach town, with her   five year old daughter. Hoping for a fresh start and healing of her heart, Carla and Missy enjoy their first few months playing in the waves, building sand castles, and their new home. Suddenly Carla notices a stranger watching her daughter intently. Who is this person and what do they want with her daughter?

  NOVEL      Compelling. Suspenseful. Inspiring.

A mixture of romance, intrigue, Christian values, and subtle tactics of Satan. A story that will keep you on the edge of your seat!

“And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us. And establish the work of our hands; Yes, establish the work of our hands.” Ps. 90:17

Author Sue Cass – see “And my pen wrote” post for more of my books.

This book and my others may be purchased in your local book stores nationally, Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Tate Publishing.com/bookstore

http://www.elahministries.com

http://www.suecass.tateauthor.com

elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you. 🙂

Can I forgive?

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For some of us there are times, circumstances, or events that have taken place in our lives that are devastating, horrible, or just plain unforgiveable. At least we think they are unforgiveable. We end up walking around, living our lives with animosity, anger, bitterness, or hatred and our hearts are so heavy from the burden that we feel like an over loaded pack mule climbing a mountain. The weight is so heavy at times we can feel like dropping to our knees and staying put.

That’s exactly where we need to be! On our knees before the Lord God Almighty asking Him to forgive us. Why us if we are the victim? “Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the Lord, and He will deliver you.”  Prov. 21:22

My previous post, “Once upon a time…No fairy tale here!” is a testimony of just such circumstances I have lived. For many years I was burdened with a heart filled with hurt and anger. What was done to me for a major portion of my life could be considered unforgiveable.

After accepting Christ into my life I began learning about forgiveness. “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” Matthew 6:14 I wanted my heavenly Father’s forgiveness but that also meant I had to forgive the people who had harmed me. The major one being my earthly father. Ohhhh did I have a problem with that! Forgiving others seemed to be easier and came more quickly but forgiving my father was going to be a long difficult process.

“But love your enemies, do good to them…” Luke 6:35 I took care of my father for many years. I saw that he got to doctors, cleaned his home, I cooked meals and delivered them, and eventually had him in my home for a short time caring for him. I still had not forgiven him and the Lord dealt with me about that.

Once I was able to truly forgive my father and come before the Lord asking His forgiveness it was as though the saddle bags, back packs, and truck loads of hurt and anger that had been my burden for so many years was lifted. For the first time I could look at my father and not despise him. All the glory goes to the Lord for in my humanness forgiveness could not have been given.

No, I don’t have amnesia. I remember what was done and those that have done it. Forgiveness does not mean we forget what was done. It means it doesn’t control us. I have forgiven them all and walk with a free heart. Hurt and anger do not control my life any more. When the enemy, the devil, raises his ugly head, I stomp on it!

Forgiving someone who has cut you off in traffic is much easier than forgiving those who have grievously harmed us. When we are able to forgive it opens our heart and the Lord can work within us and through us. By showing Christ’s love through praying for my father, caring for him and forgiving him, (to his face) my father ended up asking Christ to forgive him and to be his Savior twenty-four hours before he died at eighty-seven years old!

~~~~~

“This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of truth.” 1 Timothy, 2: 2-3

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and not this from yourselves, it is the gift of God.” Eph. 2:8

Author Sue Cass – See “And my pen wrote”

www.elahministries.com

http://www.suecass.tateauthor.com

elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you. 🙂

Once upon a time… No fairy tale here! – Testimony

Once upon a time a little girl was born into a family that wasn’t rich and wasn’t exactly poor. I suppose they would fall into the “middle class” category of society. They lived in the country and those who knew them thought all was well. But it wasn’t. It was a family filled with deep dysfunction.

As the little girl grew, her hurt and pain grew with her. She was being abused; physically, emotionally, sexually, and psychologically from a very early age. She had no hope, no dreams, and saw no way out. She put on a brave front but inside she was empty, lonely, and angry. Very angry!

One day her neighbor asked her to church so the little girl went so as to escape the misery at home. The preacher spoke of how Jesus saves us. Hope filled the little girls heart and she ran forward and asked Jesus to save her. When she got home she waited and watched. Any sound and she’d run to the window to see if Jesus had shown up to save her from the torture she lived in. She expected the knock on the door any day.

But no knock came. As the days passed she felt hurt and confused, then angry, then bitterness set in.

As a young teen her hell continued at home with added pain piling high. She was gang raped then learned she was pregnant. The child was taken from her womb and placed in the arms of a stranger without her ever seeing her child. Her bitterness grew and any who spoke of God would meet with her wrath.

Her rage and angry roots grew so deep no one could get through. The door was slammed shut to anything pertaining to a loving God. Her pain continued to dig deeper and deeper. She attempted suicide a couple of times but to no avail. God wouldn’t even let her die!

She married in her late twenties and thought all would be okay now. Only it wasn’t.

Her new husband beat her. He stayed out all night and brought women to their bed when she was out of town. He drank and lived in the bars. He got mixed up with the wrong crowd and finally was looking down the wrong end of a gun being held by a killer. Her pain deepened but life must go on.

Where was God? She didn’t ask. She figured He could care less. As far as she was concerned she didn’t exist in God’s eyes. If He doesn’t care why should she?

Once again single she figured single life was okay. She dated, she worked, she had a good time, too. The mask she wore covered her wounded heart.

Four years later she met another man. A man totally opposite of her abusive husband. A Christian man. He didn’t belittle her. He didn’t hit her or call her ugly names. He didn’t drink or chase other women. He supported her and loved her. He didn’t preach to her. He somehow knew better. He didn’t talk about love. He showed her what love is and gradually she was able to toy with the idea that maybe God brought this loving man into her life. She trusted her husband and loved him more than anything she’d ever known.

But bad things happen.

She retired. He retired. They traveled and enjoyed doing the things they had dreamed about doing some day. But all those dreams were never met. He got sick. Five years of fighting his illness and living in hospitals brought her new pain. At least now she was talking to God. Lashing out would be more like it. “If You are real You are going to have to prove it to me!” she screamed silently.

He did.

Soon after she buried her husband she found herself standing in front of a pastor asking Jesus to be her Savior. She wasn’t sure how she got there, or really why she was there, but after that things began changing in her life. Changing drastically! Jesus was now her Counselor and the wounds of the past were being confronted and healed. Her life was being transformed a step at a time.

Her phone rang one morning. She slowly walked toward the kitchen to answer it. While reaching for the phone the Lord spoke softly, “I’m giving back to you what was taken away.” She heard her long-lost child’s voice for the first time in thirty-six years.

God wasn’t through proving He’s real.

He used her to help others with similar pain from their pasts. He taught her to trust Him. He took her to places she had never been, not just physical locations, but emotional and spiritual places. He’s given her dreams and visions and warnings and encouragement to give to others. He’s used this once hurt and angry little girl in ways that continues to amaze her even today.

Long ago she gave up on Him – but He never gave up on her!

He uses her today to tell those that do not believe or accept Him, that He is real. He wants them to know He cares. He wants them to know they’ll never be alone if they will only accept Him. He wants them to know that He will transform their lives if they’ll just place their trust in Him.

I know because I was that little girl.

God proved He is real and continues to prove it to me every day. He is my life, my healing, my hope, my Redeemer.  He is my all.  What He does for one He does for all.

I pray He will become your all, and that if you haven’t already, you will ask the Lord to forgive you of your sins and come into your heart and transform your life.

~~~~~

“If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Roman 10:9

“He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted. To proclaim liberty to the captives. And the opening of the prison to those who are bound.” Is. 61:1

 

Feel free to e-mail me any confidential questions or comments at: elah501c@bellsouth.net

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Blessings to you.

My pen wouldn’t stop!

Leaning against the head board of my bed with my notebook and pen the Holy Spirit took control. The pen flew across the paper and would not stop until He had His say.

 

“Come to Me all My children for your joy shall be complete. My arms are open to all but there are those who desire to refute Me, willing to do harm against those who believe.

Nations of evil shall be destroyed and live no more. Those who support anarchy and violence shall disappear never to be seen again. Desert rats shall play tag upon their bones for all who do not kneel in confession and repentance shall serve the one who has led them to their doom.

Nations are at risk in these last days. My appearance shall bring them low to the ground as a serpent in the desert dunes. The time has come when My people must stand up or all they believe shall fall.

Countries are turning to unwise notions that they are superior to others. Look about you and see death across the land. Millions are being killed through hatred and disillusionment. Suicides are being done in the Name of My Father. STOP! For eternity is long, is endless, and you shall not see the glory of the Lord but will dwell in a place of horror and misery that cannot touch the imagination of man. Torches are lit, curse words screamed, hatred, and violence prevail.

The storm of the Lord shall sweep across the land and all who are in its path shall be blown to the ends of the earth. Wells will dry, buildings lay in rotted piles where only the bugs shall enter. Take heed you heathens of Satan’s kingdom your end of violence is near!

Lift your prayers My children for all who are in the path of this violence. Their hatred spreads like wildfire and many shall be entranced and step into the flames. Pray for those who teeter on the fence of heaven or hell. Help them to step across the line of life or death for their decision shall last for all time.

Reach out in love, draw them by My light as bugs are drawn to the nights light. Reach out to those who are in pain. Emotional, spiritual, and in their bodies. You have My authority and miracles are still alive. Believe My children, for My power shall flow through you. Obey My callings, My directions. Bring healing to hearts and souls.

Stand tall in the adversity that now cries loud and clear. Many are fooled by the sly words of those who believe in self. Self is as foolish as jumping off a cliff with no net to catch you below. Only rocks will meet you as you descend into the never ending space of all time.

Forget not the words I speak for My wrath shall be poured out opening your eyes as a sudden horrible dream will raise you up out of bed. Listen not and you shall see those things you only imagined on a screen filled with screams. Horrors are ahead for all who turn away, grab them children in your arms of love. They shall not listen but don’t give up, all hope is in Me.

Lift your heads, your hearts, your hands, and praise the King. As a blink of an eye you shall bow before the King, your crown laying at His feet. Your faces aglow with His glory for you are a daughter, a son of the King.

A religion of fear, hatred, and violence shall be stopped in its tracks. For those who come against My people shall die in their ignorance with no one to grieve their passing. Hell awaits them with open arms and My tears shall flow, for their demise should not have been.  Their eyes are blinded by those who allowed evil to enter their souls.

Cry out My children, let those in power know your prayers. Pray your ears, and theirs, shall be open to My words of warning, for I have spoken and it shall come to pass.

Love them, hate their sins, and be alert to their deceptive ways. Let not your leaders turn your heads for the wars across the land shall bring pain but the victory is yours.”

~~~~~

For those who want scriptural confirmation, here are some. 1Jn. 1:4 – Mt. 26:52, 24:24, 7:16 – Ez. 12:13, 12:19-20, 12:25 – 2Cor. 5:20-21 – Heb. 10:2 – Is. 8:12 – Joel 2:2 – 1 Peter 2:9 – 2Thes. 2:11

Author Sue Cass – “Dawn’s Light” – “Pursuit” – “Laying Down my Net-A Walk of Faith” – “Sacrifices of a Saint” – “Seek My Face.”

http://www.elahministries.com

http://www.suecass.tateauthor.com

elah501c@bellsouth.net

Blessings to you. 🙂