The Dream (11.) – The Tool

Depositing some of the items we purchased into the house we’re excited about the work that is being accomplished. The trash along the side of the house is gone, the carport is pretty well cleared and work inside is being done.

Sunday morning pastor is preaching about forgiveness and near the end of his sermon he holds up an index card. “If there is someone you need to forgive write them down on this index card, pray about it and don’t let unforgiveness hinder your walk with Jesus.”

Each seat has an index card. Looking at the small card I shake my head. I needed more than that little card.

The next Sunday rolls around and Pastor gives part of his sermon and then calls me forward. Taking a deep breath I walk to the podium. I’ve given testimonies several times in several different churches around the country but for some reason I feel this is probably the most important one I’ve ever given. I’m not sure why.

Holding up a large pair of pliers I stand looking at it. Silence has filled the room. “I think most of you know what this is, or at least I hope the men do.” Laughter ripples and one lady yells out, “A walnut cracker.” When the laughter dies down I continue, “This is an inanimate object. It has no feelings, no emotions, it has one purpose, and is used when needed and then set aside until its needed again.”

(I’m giving just a few highlights of my testimony or you’ll be reading for 25-30 minutes.)

“My dad began with the touchy-freely stuff when I was six months old and around 5-6 years old it became full blown rape. For 18 years I was totally under his control. There was mind control, manipulation, lies and secrecy, physical, sexual, psychological, mental, you name it, abuse, and not just by him…”

Holding up the legal pad, “Pastor gave us an index card last week when he was talking about forgiveness. Believe me I needed something much bigger – a legal pad!” My testimony continued for several more minutes. Holding up the legal pad again, “And did I forget to mention that at age 14 I was gang raped? More names to be written down…”

Telling the congregation how the Lord had me drive to my Dad’s home and confront him about the many years of abuse, “I asked my Dad why? Why did you do all those things?” Taking hold of the pliers I look at the congregation and state, “He said I was his tool.” Holding up the pliers again and looking at them, “He said I was his tool. An inanimate object with no feelings, no emotions, only one purpose and tossed aside when finished, only to be retrieved when needed.”

I see tears streaming down some faces, heads are lowered, women shaking their heads with looks of horror. The impact of my words have definitely resonated. Waiting for the impact to sink in for a moment, I tell them how I faced my Dad and told him I forgive him to his face. “I forgive you for all that you did, for all that you didn’t do, and for not being the father you should have been. You are not off the hook though! You still have to stand before God and account for what you did, but I forgive you…”

“I’ll close with this. Before I confronted my Dad I prayed fervently that he would burn in hell. After I forgave him I prayed fervently that he’d be saved. Twenty four hours before my dad died (87 yrs old) he asked Christ into his heart. My mother, in her 80’s, asked Christ to be her Savior on a motor home trip I took her on, and my 2 sisters and brother have been saved.”

Ending my testimony with Psalm 129:2, “They have greatly oppressed me from my youth, but they have not gained victory over me! I am living proof that that scripture is true! Thank you and God bless you.”

Pastor helps me down the few stairs because my legs are shaking and finishes the rest of his sermon.

Next week we have Into The Light Home fund raiser service.

Will we make our goal of $300,000? Did my testimony have any kind of impact on what will be given?

Stay tuned, you might be surprised.

Blessings to you and see ya’ next time.

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